Thumbing My Way
by theREALBenson007
Summary: It's been ten years since Beca Mitchell died and ten years since "Natalie Keener" showed up in Salt Lake City. When Chloe releases "I Will Never Love Again" and Natalie recognizes it, she will go on the journey of a lifetime to go home. I don't own anything! There will be references to SVU characters, but aren't really essential to the plot. Third book in the PP-SVU x-over
1. Challenges

The alarm is what woke her up.

Chloe Mitchell isn't one to be late, but on this day, she woke up late.

She lost Beca ten years ago to the day.

Both Avery and Benson struggled with the loss, but Aubrey and Devonte helped them. Aubrey had adopted Devonte after Jesse was sentenced the death penalty.

Caylie had only heard stories about Beca, but never understand how and why Jesse did what he did.

Tears streamed down her face as she got up.

She went downstairs and found Aubrey and the kids, getting breakfast ready.

"Hey." Aubrey smiles.

Chloe broke down. "Shhh. It's okay." "Have you ever lost anyone you've ever loved?"

"I did Aunt Chlo." Devonte said, "Remember? My biological mother was killed right in front of me when I was four."

"Mom," Avery got up and went to her mother, "we all miss Mama, but she wouldn't want us to get sad once a year. She'd probably say something scarcastic and then make us laugh. I will always remember that she loved us."

Chloe sniffles.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Caylie asked walking into the room.

"What's on your mind?" Benson asked.

"I'm going to release 'I Will Never Love Again' in an hour."

"Woah." "Yeah. The world needs to hear the last song she wrote. I had Lady Gaga sing it and it's time we put it out."

Aubrey looked at Chloe, "Why not release both?"

"I can't release Beca singing it." "Why not?" "I imagine her there and saying that she doesn't want to steal the spotlight."


	2. Natalie

Natalie woke up late. Today seemed kinda odd.

Despite being in a medical facility for five years before being realeased messed up her sense of time, but she made up for it by getting a great job. She had adopted a little boy from a teenager and raised him.

She was pretty quiet about her past and had began to remember bits and pieces of life before the accident.

Natalie favored a Graveyard Martini and would find comfort in the ice cold liquor.

However, she was late picking up Eli. She stepped out of her car and walked to the front of the school.

"Come here little dude." She said.

"Mama, can Owen and I have a playdate?" Eli asked.

"Not today sweetie. Mama's got a date with pain meds."

"PLEASE????" The two boys begged. She looked up at the other mother. The other mother was a little bit taller and was blonde.

"You drink?" "Uh... I've had a chocolate mart-" "Come over. I'll get you some real fucking alcohol." The 5'2" woman said.

"Oh. Uh. Okay."

Half an hour later, they entered her house and the boys ran off.

"Careful!" The woman said.

"So," Natalie said, "What's your name?"

"Uh..." "Uh isn't a name last I checked."

"Bridget." She shrugs as Natalie grabbed gin out of the fridge.

"Nice to meet you. I'm going to guess that you're going to be here a lot, so tell me about yourself." Natalie looks at Bridget.

"Uh, I'm recently divorced and trying to figure out my place in the world." "God, what are you a dating profile?"

Bridget laughs nervously.

"Kidding. Being a single mom is tough. It's harder especially when you don't remember your life until you wake up from a coma." Natalie looks at the small tattoos of the Roman numerals on her left wrist.

Under the October 3rd one, had Eli's birthday, April 4th.

"Oh. I'm sorry." "It's fine."

Natalie popped the lid off.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Beca Mitchell?" Bridget asks causing the smaller woman to breal the top of the bottle.

"Ah shit." "Here."

Bridget cleans the glass up and then takes care of Natalie's hand.

"To answer your question, yes. I mean, I can pass off as her, but didn't she die ten years ago?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah. Her widow actually released the last song Beca recorded. It's beautiful. Have you heard it?" "No." "Here, let me play it."

Natalie rolls her eyes, but froze when she heard the song.

Her fingers danced on the counter as she was hit with a flashback.

 _"I love it. But why are you and Lady Gaga doing each doing it?" A redhead asked._

 _The brunette shrugged, "I don't think that I will make it big. She will."_

 _"I think you should release it." "Chlo-". "Please?"_

 _"I'll think about it." "That's good enough for me." "Next time bribe me with sex."_

 _"Beca!" The redhead smacks her arm. "_

 _Let me pleasure you. You never know when either of us will be gone and the other is left and vows to never love again."_

 _"Don't leave me though."_

 _"I will never."_

With that, Natalie passed out.


	3. I am her

Natalie's head pounded as she came to.

"Fucckkk." She groaned. "Ah Miss Keener, welcome." A doctor said.

"What happened?" "You passed out and hit your head pretty hard. You're lucky to have a mild concussion."

"Can I see my son?"

"Sure."

He left.

She wasn't sure when she had fallen back asleep, but when she woke up next, Eli was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Little Dude." She smiled.

"Mama, Miss Bridget said that you passed out when you heard-"

"Baby, I hate to interrupt, but do you remember hearing about Beca Mitchell's music?" "Yeah. Why?" "Baby, I'm think I'm her?"

"Huh?" "About five years before you were born, I was in a pretty bad car accident. That's why my shoulder is out of place."

"Mama?" "Yes Baby?" "If you are Beca Mitchell, does that mean that I am not your baby?"

"Woah. Eli, I will always be your Mama. If anyone tries to take you from me, I will fight tooth and nail. Okay? I love you Elijah Oliver Keener." She kisses his forehead.

Eli smiles and snuggles into his mother. Once he fell asleep, Natalie grabbed her phone and gingerly called a number.

" _Hello, this is_ -" "You fucking liar." " _Excuse me?_ " "Why did you say I was dead?" " _Who is this?_ "

"This is Beca effen Mitchell...and I am coming home."


	4. Car Ride

"What do you mean I can't fly to New York,?" Natalie said.

"Everyone thinks you died when you shot yourself that day." Nick Waters said. Nick Waters was the Utah head of WPP and had been in contact with Natalie when she started having flashbacks a year ago and she was suspicious of being falsely "dead".

"I was trying to get away from the bastard. Nick, please... I just want to see her... I want Eli to meet his older siblings...hell I don't know if Chloe had the other baby or not. You don't have to tell the police." Natalie begs.

Nick sighed, "What about driving to New York?"

"From Ogden? That will take days!" "It's pretty much the only way to ensure that the SVU squad who lied about your death doesn't know."

Natalie sighed. "Fine. Eli! Pack a bag, we're going to New York."


	5. HB Flashback

**A/N So I will be doing a couple of flashbacks in this story to stuff from Heartbreak and Slow Dancing that was cut. I recommend going back and reading those two to understand what I am referring to. Also, to separate Heartbreak and Slow Dancing, It will say HB for Heartbreak and SD for Slow Dancing. I don't own Westlife's ""Safe". Anyways continue on!**

Beca was awoken by a constant poking in her shoulder.

"What?" She groaned.

"Baby, I-" Chloe starts before Beca shot out of bed.

"The babies are coming! How many contractions have you had? Do we need to call the doctor? Shit. They're coming early!" Beca scrambled around.

Chloe laughed, "No. They're not coming. Come sit down before you have a heart attack."

Beca goes back over, grumbling, and sits on the edge.

"Sorry if I scared you." "It's okay. Now," Beca began to rub Chloe's belly, "what did you wake me up for?"

"I'm scared." "Of what?" "The trail."

Beca sighed as she felt their daughter's knee ram into her hand, "Chlo. There's no reason to be scared anymore. He's going to go away for a long long time."

"I know, but..." Chloe begins to hyperventilate.

Beca began to play with Chloe's engagement ring, "When I was twelve, my neighbor was raped. She watched me as a kid. I was the one who found her after the assult. She was dead. I...uh...saw the man leave. I had to testify. It was scary, but I thought of a way to keep me calm."

"What was it?" "I just remembered that everything was going to alright." "Well that doesn't help me."

Beca moves hair from Chloe's eyes, "Breathe... I'll keep you safe." "How?" "I just will. Come here." Beca helps up Chloe and takes her to the in house studio Beca now had in their new home.

Beca sat down at the piano and made room for Chloe.

"I wrote this for the babies, but it's now a vow to the three of you." Beca says beginning to play.

 _ **Hard to find a way to get through**_

 _ **It's a tragedy**_

 _ **Pulling at me like the stars do, you're like gravity**_

 _ **Even if the wind blows, it makes it hard to believe**_

 _ **How you gonna love?**_

 _ **How you gonna feel?**_

 _ **How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real?**_

 _ **And if you lost your way, I will keep you safe**_

 _ **We'll open up all the world inside, Isee it come alive tonight**_

 _ **I will keep you safe**_

 _ **We all fall down, we all feel down**_

 _ **Cause rainy days and summer highs**_

 _ **The more we pray the more we feel alive**_

 _ **How you gonna love?**_

 _ **How you gonna feel?**_

 _ **How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real?**_

 _ **How you gonna love?**_

 _ **How you gonna feel?**_

 _ **How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real?**_

 _ **And if you've lost your way, I will keep you safe**_

 _ **We'll open up all your world inside**_

 _ **So you come alive tonight**_

 _ **I will keep you safe**_

 _ **I will keep you safe**_

"I will keep you safe" Beca whispered as she kissed Chloe's forehead and stretched a hand acrossed Chloe's belly.

Chloe was crying.

"I won't let him near you. I promise." Beca said as Chloe began to kiss her neck.

"I know you won't." Chloe whispers as she began to kiss Beca harder.

"Do you want to finish this upstairs?" Beca breathes out.

"I'll take you here and now on the floor." "Well your mood shifted quickly." "Shut up and do me"

"As you wish." Beca mock salutes as she gently brought Chloe to the floor.


	6. It's time to move on

**This chapter contains a flashback, but it's not an official flashback chapter.**

Over the last ten years, Chloe hadn't gotten over Beca's death.

She still wore her ring and still had Mitchell attached to her name.

Though "Bombshell" never took off, Chloe did record some of the songs, changing lyrics.

For a while after Beca's death, she hardly left the house, claiming that she needed to care for a newborn and two five year olds. Olivia changed that.

Every other Wednesday, from about ten weeks after Beca's death to the present, she and Olivia met for coffee.

Today was one of those days.

Chloe walked in late.

"Hey kiddo." Olivia smiled hugging the shorter woman, "how are you doing?"

"I'm okay as I can get." "You know ity okay to move on." "I know but..."

Olivia took Chloe's hands, "But what?"

Chloe sighed as she closed her eyes.

 _"Chlo?" "Hmmm?" "What would you do if I died?"_

 _Chloe turns her head to face her wife's, "Why do you ask?"_

 _"I'm just thinking." Beca sighed. "Well," Chloe sighed, "I'd grieve and then vow to never love again."_

 _"I would want you to find someone. I wouldn't want you to be sad all the time... you're too pretty to cry all the time."_

 _"You would?" "Yeah. I want to look up from Hell and see you happy." "You're not going to Hell." "Maybe I wanna."_

 _Chloe was about to respond when she heard crying, "Duty calls." "I love you." Beca said. "I love you too." Chloe says kissing Beca's forehead._

"I... don't know if I'm ready to move on." "It's been ten years." "I know... I need some more time."

Olivia smiled warmly, "I know you will move on when you are ready. I hate to cut this short, but I have to go back to the precinct, Elliot has been freaking out about something."

"It's okay. Thanks for doing this for me the last ten years."

"No problem." Olivia started to leave when she stopped, "I miss her too."

Chloe smiled.

Olivia kissed the top of Chloe's head and left.

Chloe went to go get another coffee to goz when a voice stopped her, "Chloe?"

She turned and froze, "Miles?"


	7. Falling in love with love

Chloe waltzed into the house.

"The hell were you?" Benson asks, crossing his arms.

"That's none of your-" "It is Mom. I took a cab home and the girls said that you weren't home. We almost called Aunt Liv to send a search team out."

"Ben," Chloe goes over and takes her tall son's hands, "I was just out...catching up with an old friend and he is a dancer. I asked if he could show me a couple of his dances and we lost track of time. I understand that you are worried that I'm going to fall off the wagon, but I won't."

Benson looks away from his shorter mother. At fifteen, he was around 5'9" and still had an inch or two to go.

"Baby, look at me." He did so. "I'm not going to leave you guys. I pushed all three of you out of my vagina after carrying you for nearly nine months. I just can't be stuck in the house just working all the time."

"Yeah." Benson says walking away, "working on someone"

"I don't like that tone young man!" "Fine! Ground me. I don't care! I just want Mama back."

He storms up the stairs as her hand flies to her neck, covering up that hicky.

Closing her eyes, she smiled remembering.

 **Earlier...**

"I apologise for the mess." Miles says as he moves a couple of dog toys off the large floor in his penthouse apartment, "Buddha and Bogey don't know how to not scatter toys around."

Chloe laughed, "I have three kids remember?"

"Yeah." Miles chuckles.

Miles stood at 6'5", had dark hair and hazel eyes.

"Well, I'm here to see you dance." Chloe says after petting the two Shiba Inus that had greeted her.

"I need a partner for this one. After you took a hiatus from 'Bombshell', Axel had me come in to create the choreography for 'Our Little Secret'. Although 'Bombshell' didn't take off, I still continued to dance. I remembered that you did Cinderella before you got the Oscar nod and I took the job to choreograph the Cinderella revival." He says taking off his leather jacket.

"Oh shoot. I got the invite to play the step mother since I'm a little bit too old to be Cinderella again." Chloe giggles.

"I'm actually stuck trying to figure out how to do the step mother's song...you want to help?" "Sure!" "Cool. All I need from you is to sing the song."

"Let me do the intro." Chloe says flipping her hair, "But you gotta sing for the step sisters." "Deal."

 **(Spoken)**

 **This isn't about Love! It's about Marriage!**

 **Have I taught you girls nothing?!**

 **(Chloe)**

 **Falling in Love with Love is falling for**

 **Make-believe!**

 **Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool!**

 **Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy!**

 **Learning to trust is just for children in school.**

 **I fell in Love with Love one night when the moon**

 **Was full**

 **I was unwise with eyes unable to see!**

 **I fell in Love with Love with love ever-lasting.**

 **But Love fell out, with me!!**

 **(Miles)**

 **Falling in Love with Love is falling for**

 **Make-believe!**

 **Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool!**

 **(Chloe)**

 **Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy!**

 **(Miles)**

 **Learning to trust is just for children in school.**

 **(Chloe)**

 **I fell in Love with Love one night when the moo**

 **Was full**

 **I was unwise with eyes unable to see!**

 **I fell in Love with Love, Love ever-lasting!**

 **But love fell out, with me!**

Miles brought her up from the dip. They looked into each other's eyes before kissing each other.

"Bedroom." Chloe moans as he picked her up.

Once they were on the bed, Miles was just about to get her pants off when Chloe rolled to her side.

"You okay?" "I was raped by an ex... he's serving life right now...I... don't feel comfortable with having sex with a man."

Chloe began to tear uup, "I'm sorry." He wiped a tear from her face, "It's okay."

She smiled. "Hey, let's order a pizza? How does that sound?" Miles says pulling on his shirt.

"Sounds good." Chloe said before giving him another kiss.

 _ **A/N uh oh! How do y'all feel about Miles? I'm hoping to get Natalie/Beca back in New York soon, but, I may be terrible at it, but I love drama, so we'll see how it plays out. I do apologise for the really late update!**_


End file.
